Wow! I Won the Best Classic Film Blog LAMMY!

Svengali (1931)

Directed by Archie Mayo

Starring John Barrymore, Marian Marsh and Donald Crisp

Produced by Warner Bros.

This usually where I would do the plot summary, so here it goes: 

A guy who is teaching music actually has mind control powers and takes control of a beautiful woman making her fall in love with him. It ends badly for them. The end. 

There's obviously a lot more to Svengali, but that's the gist. 

I hated this film. It's sloppily constructed, overacted and dull. 

How so? The film wants to set up Svengali as this mythical, evil yet tragic monster of a man, someone who would take control of a woman's mind and make her commit suicide. Or who would control the woman he lusts for and force her to love him. 

And how do you build such a beast? By making him the center of a comedic, almost slapstick opening, of course. Have this evil, tragic figure give music lessons to a terrible singer, rolling his eyes and cringing the whole time. If he's silly, we will take him even more seriously at the end, right? 

I don't know if the thought was to combine the pathos and comedy of a Charlie Chaplin film with the horror and tragedy of Lon Chaney, but that appears to be the goal. And it's about as effective as mixing oil and water and throwing in some pickles for good measure. It's a recipe that just never comes together. 

You could make the argument that the true purpose of Svengali is to give John Barrymore a reason to put on a lot of make up and mug for the camera. There it succeeds in spades. Barrymore seems unaware that the over-emotive acting necessary for silent films is not necessary in a talkie. Your movements can be more subtle. 

Any of the above could be slightly forgivable if Svengali was entertaining on some level. It's not. It's repetitive and dull. In its comedic moments, it approaches its punchlines with all the grace of my three year old pretending to be a ninja. It grabs its jokes and pummels them into submission. 

When it is time for drama, we get the same moments over and over again, with the added problem of Barrymore delivering his lines with the speed of a cartoon turtle. It's excruciating to endure. 

What's good about Svengali? The lighting effect that happens with Barrymore's face when he is hypnotizing someone is kind of neat. Other than that.... 

* out of *****

The Maltese Falcon (1931)

Directed by Roy Del Ruth
Starring Bebe Daniels, Ricardo Cortez, Dudley Digges
Produced by Warner Bros.

Detective Sam Spade (NOT played by Humphrey Bogart) takes on the case of a woman with a mysterious request. After Sam's partner is killed trailing a man who himself turns up dead.

Spade finds himself trapped between a woman who may be the only one he can ever truly love and a mysterious man who will stop at nothing to acquire a certain avian-themed trophy.

Can Sam find the bird, end up with the girl and escape the police?

The Guilty Generation (1931)

Directed by Rowland V. Lee
Starring Leo Carrillo, Constance Cummings, Robert Young
Produced by Columbia Pictures Corporation

John Smith is an up and coming architect. He has great friends. He's just been hired to build a hotel in Florida. He only has one small problem...

His name isn't John Smith. It's Marco Ricca. And Marco is the son of Tony Ricca, a prominent mob boss engaged in a war with Mike Palmiero and his clan.

Shortly after arriving in Florida, Smith ends up at a Palmiero party and meets the fetching Maria, Mike's daughter. Being the children of rival gangsters, the two immediately fall in love.

Mike is a protective father who begins sniffing out Maria's new beau.  Can the couple end their families' hatred? Or will they become victims of the violence?

Blogathon Looking for Contributors: What Price Hollywood

Kristen of Journeys in Classic Film and I are hosting a blogathon this July! Exciting, right?

RIGHT?

The "What Price Hollywood" Blogathon will run from July 7 through 13 and focus on films about Tinseltown.  About a hundred years ago, the center of the film universe began its permanent shift to Hollywood and we want to take a look at any and all films about making films.

Want to contribute? Of course you do!  To see your name in lights, all you need to do is shoot me an email at to100yearsofmovies[at]verizon[dot]net and let me know your name, your site and which movie you want to cover.  I will keep a running list here.

We want to cover all of Hollywood's introspection, from the silent era to films hitting theaters today.  We will have graphics and all sorts of tomfoolery for this 'thon so feel free to participate and check back in with all of the contributors.

Adaptation - Nick Jobe, Your Face!
The Artist - Tony Cogan, Coog's Film Blog
The Bad and the Beautiful - Will, Exploding Helicopter
Ed Wood - Pat, 100 Years of Movies 
Films about Hollywood Scandals - Kristen, Journeys in Classic Film
The Player - Mark, Three Rows Back
Stand-In - Duke Mantee, Spoilers
Sunset Boulevard - Chuck Boonsweet, Boonsweet & Bucklesworth

Lonely Wives (1931)

Directed by Russell Mack

Starring Edward Everett Horton, Esther Ralston, Laura La Plante

Produced by Pathé Exchange 

Renowned lawyer Richard "Dickie" Smith is all over the papers for a recent high-profile acquittal he successfully tried, but back home he has nothing but problems. 

His wife Madeleine and her mother believe (and rightfully so) that he is a philanderer. He is all business during the day, but once eight o'clock hits, his personality switches and he chases every skirt in sight. 

This proves particularly problematic on the day he is trying out a new secretary, the beautiful Kitty "Minty" Minter. He's unimpressed with her typing and dictation skills, but once the clock chimes he's only too pleased to watch her "wiggle." 

Complicating matters further, Minty's friend Diane O'Dare is looking for a divorce from her vaudevillian performer husband The Great Zero and wants to take advantage of Smith's sexual proclivities to get him to take the case. 

Smith sets up a late night rendezvous with both Minty and Diane, but Dickie's mother-in-law won't let him leave the house. Fortunately, The Great Zero shows up to ask Smith's permission to impersonate the lawyer in his act. Once the actor dons some make up, his resemblance to Smith is uncanny. The doppelgänger gives the lothario the perfect means to sneak out. 

Now Smith and The Great Zero have switched places, but can they carry out the ruse? And what will the impersonator do when, surprise!, Madeleine returns home early from her trip? 

Monkey Business (1931)

Directed by Norman Z. McLeod
Starring The Marx Brothers
Produced by Paramount Pictures

The Marx Brothers stow away on an ocean liner.

Hilarity ensues.

Do you really need more plot?

Okay, now I get The Marx Brothers. Sort of.

For most of its runtime, Monkey Business has no real plot except for allowing the comedy troupe to run amok on a cruise ship. The sheer anarchy they represent within the ordered world of this boat is loaded with potential humor and the characters mine every bit of it.

Welcome to the LAMMY-nominated 100 Years of Movies

That's right, my little corner of the interwebs has been nominated for the 2013 LAMMY as Best Classic Film Blog.

A sincere thank you to anyone who voted for me to be nominated. As you all know, writers tend to be islanded and are never sure how exactly they are doing. So the phrase "it's an honor to be nominated" is more than a cliche here. It's absolute truth.

I am nominated against four other blogs: Where Danger Lives, Criterion Reflections, Journeys in Classic Film, and Once Upon a Screen. Each of them is an absolutely deserving candidate and you should check them out. It should be a fun couple if weeks of campaigning.

Ah, yes. Campaigning.

I take my films pretty seriously, but in all other respects I tend to try to keep the mood light. So obviously I will be trying to have as much fun as possible with this during campaign season. Twitter will be the best place to follow my drive to be crowned greatest classic film blog in the universe!

If you are a LAMB and reading this, please make sure to vote. Pretty please. You can vote here. Obviously, I'd love your vote but the most important thing is to head to the LAMB and poke the surveymonkey.

(See, I just put a dirty thought in your head.)

Be sure to visit all of the nominees and happy voting!

Platinum Blonde (1931)

Directed by Frank Capra
Loretta Young, Robert Williams, and Jean Harlow
Produced by Columbia Pictures 

Stew Smith is the ace reporter for The Post and regularly gets the big assignments. When he's not chasing down leads, he's killing time with his best friend in the newsroom, the lovely Gallagher. 

Smith gets assigned to track down claims that the wealthy Schuyler family paid off a chorus girl to drop a civil suit against the family's womanizing son Michael. 

Smith and a rival reporter from the Tribune are allowed to interview the family. The other reporter leaves with a bribe to drop the issue, but Smith is made of sterner stuff. First, he tricks the Schuyler matriarch into admitting the payoff, but seems swayed by the advances of her daughter Anne. However, in the end Smith calls his editor with the scoop, enraging the family. 

The next day Smith returns with letters he had found from Michael to the chorus girl, providing salacious details about the affair. Anne offers a sizable bribe to Smith, but the reporter refuses the money and returns the letters, simply stating the previous story was news, but the letters would not. 

Anne is intrigued by Smith and the two spend the afternoon together. She begins seeing him and the couple spontaneously elope, much to the dismay of both Mrs. Schuyler and Gallagher (who has been pining for Smith). 

But marriage isn't all it's cracked up to be. Anne is trying to mold Stew into a proper gentleman, but the very independent reporter has his own ideas. Can the two making it work? And just how will Smith find his muse to finish a play he's been writing on the side?

The Champ (1931)

Directed by King Vidor

Starring Wallace Beery, Jackie Cooper and Irene Rich

Produced by Metro-Goldwyn-Meyer 

Former heavyweight "Champ" Purcell is a mess. He drinks too much. He gambles away any meager earnings he has. When he gets a chance to return to the ring, he shows up in front of the promoter drunk and out of shape. 

His vices force his young son Dink to be the man of the house. Champ loves his son, but cannot overcome his vices. When the father does finally see a gambling winning streak, he takes the money and buys Dink a horse. 

Dink's pet is brought to the track as a race horse, where the boy and his father encounter Linda and Tony. Linda is actually Champ's former wife and Dink's mom. The fighter agrees to let Dink spend some time with Linda. 

However, Dink does not care at all for his mother's well-to-do lifestyle. She responds by attempting to take the boy from his father. And when an all night drinking-and-gambling binge results in Champ losing Dink's horse, the man reluctantly agrees. 

Now Dink is heading off on a train with his mother to a new life and family while Champ wastes away alone. Will Dink stay with his mother? And will the Champ jump at one last chance to climb into the ring? 

Rewatching Frankenstein (1931)

Directed by James Whale

Starring Colin Clive, Mae Clarke, Boris Karloff 

Produced by Universal Pictures

A brilliant scientist allows his intelligence and ego to drive him to the brink of sanity as he plays god and creates a new living being from stitched together dead bodies. His creation at first seems innocent and childlike, but lashes out when threatened by fire. Can the scientist bring himself to destroy his creation? 

I honestly hesitated to bother with even a capsule recap of this one. The story of the monster and his creator is such a cultural touchstone that most people do not even realize the significant deviations this takes from the book. When you say "Frankenstein," nine out of ten people are going to picture this depiction.

Cimarron (1931)

Directed by Wesley Ruggles (uncredited)
Starring Richard Dix, Irene Dunne and Estelle Taylor
Produced by RKO Radio Pictures 

It's the Old West, a time of Western expansion, and the great Oklahoma land rush is moments from beginning.  Wagons and horses are lined up at the border, just waiting for the starter's gun to send them hurtling into the virgin territory to stake their claim.

Among the hopeful horseman is Yancey Cravat.  He has scoped out the perfect plot of land upon which to raise a family with his wife Sabra.  He just has to get there before anyone else.

Unfortunately, A woman named Dixie Lee takes advantage of Yancey's honor and tricks him into giving up the plot.  Undeterred, Yancey returns to Wichita, scoops up Sabra and heads to Osage to start up a newspaper.

In the ensuing years, Osage and the Cravat clan grow up together.  The newspaper takes off, Yancey's a respected voice in the town and he and Sabra are blessed with some children.  Yancey remains a pioneer by nature however and soon becomes restless in the expanding borough.

Can Yancey quiet his nomadic nature? And how will Sabra deal with Yancey if he threatens to leave?